Maybe his excuse will be crappy and you’ll decide he’s not worth it.Maybe he won’t even make an excuse at all and you’ll realise he doesn’t care much about how he behaves (or doesn’t even realise there’s anything wrong with not getting back for so long). But we can lose a lot in life by letting pride continually get the better of us.Or, we throw casual dating out the window and expect to marry the first person we date right off the bat. Aristotle said that virtue is the mean between two extremes. Thomas Umstattd wrote a great article in defense of casual dating; he argued that courtship (which made a comeback in Christian culture with the book by Joshua Harris) puts too much pressure on people to marry the first person they court because it’s taken so seriously.Casual dating offers this mean: men and women go on lots of dates with different people for the purpose of getting to know each other. We reclaim Halloween, which celebrates death, by celebrating the vigil of All Saints Day, or “All Hallows Eve.” Popes have exhorted us to use the media for the glory of God. With casual dating, there’s less temptation, more interaction, more self-awareness and honestly, more fun.Stephen Hussey I was initially surprised this week at some of the reactions to Matt’s latest video blog.In case you missed it, the video was about some of the fun, high-value messages you can send back to a guy when he texts you out-the-blue after “going cold” for a few weeks. I can’t help but worry about people who approach dating with this kind of mentality.
Hooking up is wrong because it’s totally selfish: we use another person for our own pleasure. Catholics tend to take this approach — taking dating far too seriously.Everything was black or white with no room for grey area.I’d always latch my every experience on to people and things, trying understand them.We barely know what’s going on in their real lives, we know they are presenting a slightly better, more polished version of themselves in order to impress us, and consequently we don’t really have a reason to expect a lot of obligation from their side. Sometimes a man (or woman) really is in a month where his or her career takes priority over everything else and they just don’t have time to keep moving ahead with a burgeoning relationship. Then maybe they come back and send one of those texts, like the ones Matt mentioned in his video: e.g. Now, as I see it, Matt’s point here is that although in the moment you might immediately feel hurt or offended that this guy hasn’t been in touch and then suddenly messages you out of the blue, there is a way you can respond and stay high-value, whilst still giving HIM a chance to try to win you back over.Or at the very least, you’re not giving him what he wants (i.e. It doesn’t mean he him to win you back over, it’s still worth being confident and not overly reactive in your response.
Maybe this leads to a deeper relationship, maybe it doesn’t.