It wasn’t my transition that was the problem – it was my partner’s lack of understanding and empathy for what I was going through.
Rejecting our transition is rejecting who we are on a deep and essential level, and the pain that comes with that can be agonizing.
Due in part to high profile advocates like Laverne Cox and Janet Mock speaking out and inspiring others to do the same, mainstream vernacular is finally catching with gender theory, and society is constantly changing the way we think about what it means to be a man or a woman.
But what about people who don't think of themselves as men Person A: My gender is a blend of male and female. Person B: I see gender as a spectrum, with male at one end and female at the other.
Furthermore, there tends not to be much flexibility when it comes to stating your sexual orientation.
Since I identify as a trans male, and my sexual preference is for females, I have been left with only one option in the online dating world: heterosexual.
14 August 2011 So maybe you're attracted to people outside of the gender binary.
Maybe you're wondering how you go about loving a person who categorizes themself as genderqueer, gender non-conforming, transgender, transmasculine or transfeminine, agender, androgynous, bigendered, or perhaps no category at all.
Most sites allow you to choose between only two genders, male and female.
I still remember the moment I came out as genderqueer to my then-partner. While his sexual preferences are his prerogative, he had failed to be supportive. I was afraid of being abandoned, afraid that I could not be loved as I was.
I was finally sharing a deep and important truth about myself: I was ready to transition and was overjoyed at the prospect of having my partner by my side. “I just wouldn’t find you attractive anymore,” he told me. I never brought it up again and delayed my transition until our eventual breakup a year later.
But when our partners support us through this experience, it can make all the difference.
It can make what can be a frightening beginning evolve into a beautiful journey.
Some days I feel more masculine, others more femme. I knew that I didn't want to be female, but I didn't feel "male" enough to transition to being male either.