Some in the church have colluded with this practice by not challenging it.
Worse, others have directly encouraged it on the misguided assumption that a sexual relationship within marriage will clear up the person’s supposedly confused feelings, or even ‘cure’ them of their same-sex attraction!
It is a strong motivation and has been manipulated by ‘Hollywood’ to a point that most accept that it is THE single most important ingredient. Allow me to use another comparison to make my point. The ‘feeling’ comes later and then it serves to motivate.
When a person decides that they need to exercise, is it the ‘feeling’ that comes from all the exercise and discipline that keeps them going? In dating, we seem to have the force to place physical attraction and the spark into a paramount role.
You are finding enjoyment and getting to know one another. You are the only one who can develop your ‘criteria’ but I encourage you not to look for the spark at the initial meetings with the other person.Also, there are physical traits that you look for in a spouse in hopes of passing down to your children.For example, height, athleticism, ethnicity, features, etc.What if all of these godly principles that should be found in a potential spouse are there, but there’s not that inherent, almost primal, “zing-pow” feeling?I cannot marry a woman who I am not very, very, physically attracted to or else the intimacy will fade later in life.
When we’re in love, there can be physical attraction, with sparks flying. Should Christian singles follow them, or are there more important signs we should trust before allowing ourselves to fall in love? I think that you will find an almost unanimous agreement that sparks are important in a relationship that leads to marriage.